How to Be Comfortable With Yourself: A Letter for My Daughter and Maybe You !
Learning How to Be Comfortable With Yourself Isn’t Easy, But It’s Everything
Hi there,
The other day, something during an interview caught me off guard—in the best way possible.
My guest, Eli Rubel, said:
“I learned to appreciate spending time with myself as opposed to by myself.”
It stopped me. That sentence carried weight.
After the conversation, I came back to it and let it echo.
Because if I’m being honest, learning how to be comfortable with yourself was never something that came naturally to me.
Years ago, I started spending time alone not because I liked who I was—but because I didn’t. I wanted to understand myself. I wanted to show myself compassion. I wanted to maybe even love the person I was… and was becoming.
So I traveled solo to Nepal.
No Netflix. No social media. No noise. Not even music.
It was uncomfortable. Awkward. Confronting.
But it taught me this:
I wasn’t spending time by myself.
I was learning how to be with myself.
Would You Enjoy Your Own Company?
So now I’ll ask you:
Would you enjoy your own company?
No distractions.
No phone.
No scroll.
Just you. In silence.
If that question stirs discomfort—don’t turn away.
That discomfort isn’t a flaw.
It’s an invitation.
How to Be Comfortable With Yourself Starts With Ownership
Here’s what I’ve learned after coaching hundreds of high performers:
The only person you can truly change… is yourself.
And that’s not a punishment. It’s your greatest gift.
You get to decide who you become.
You get to become the kind of person you’d want in the room with you.
The kind who energizes you, centers you, makes space for your truth.
Here’s the test:
How long can you sit with yourself before you reach for distraction?
Because the person who answers that question…
is the one leading your future.
The Room Where You Learn How to Be Comfortable With Yourself
Integration.
That’s been the work lately—real integration. The kind that only happens when you walk into the room with:
Nowhere to hide
No one to impress
Just space to be
In that room, I’ve faced decisions that once made me feel weak, behind, and ashamed. I used to hate being with myself in those moments. I was brutal to myself.
But over time, I learned:
Those decisions didn’t break me, they built me.
Growth Isn’t Found in Comfort. It’s Found in Discomfort.
The stretch? That’s the point.
That’s where I’ve grown, and where my clients grow.
Kaia turned 1 on May 10th. Her birthday gave me a chance to look in the mirror and ask:
What do I want to teach her?
Not ease.
Not perfection.
But how to be resilient. How to stay present.
How to be comfortable with herself, even when life gets loud, hard, or uncertain.
So when life challenges me now, I tell myself:
These trials are building my patience.
This resistance is shaping my strength.
This discomfort is training my resilience.
Because let’s be real:
Pearls begin as irritants.
Diamonds form under pressure.
Butterflies, babies, breakthroughs—they all demand discomfort.
Beauty Comes From Learning How to Be Comfortable With Yourself
All beds are comfortable.
All distractions are tempting.
Quitting is attractive when you’re tired and sore.
But this is when I remind myself:
Beauty doesn’t come from ease.
It comes from showing up, especially when pressing snooze would be easier.
I Didn’t Write This for You, I Wrote It for Her
Here’s the twist:
Although you’re reading this… I didn’t write it for you.
I wrote it for myself.
For my daughter.
For my family, present and future.
Because I want them to know:
It was hardship that built us.
It was silence that revealed us.
It was presence that shaped us.
Would You Want to Spend Forever With the Person You Are Today?
Because that’s exactly what you’ll do.
You are the only person you’ll walk this entire journey with.
The only one you have full permission to transform.
And if that truth stirs something in you, curiosity, discomfort, a quiet yes…
Know this:
You are not alone.
And you’re already enough.
Your friend and coach,
Carlos
