How to Love Yourself Unconditionally: The Forgotten Pattern Blocking Your Joy
This story from 1767 might just change the way you see yourself.
By Carlos Patino | May 14, 2025
Do You Really Know How to Love Yourself Unconditionally?
"Do you love yourself?" she asked.
"Yes," I replied without a flinch.
"Probably not enough," she smiled softly.
Her words lingered.
Could my self-love be conditional?
Had I forgotten how to love myself unconditionally?
My rational mind rebelled, What do you mean?
Let’s expand our minds, by opening them.
How a Forgotten Treasure Teaches Us How to Love Ourselves Unconditionally
Let me tell you a story...
In 1767, the Burmese army invaded Thailand, destroying everything in their path.
When they reached a royal temple in Bangkok, they looted its treasures but left one statue untouched: a giant Buddha made of cheap plaster.
It seemed worthless. They moved on, killing all the monks who protected the temple.
The statue, along with the ruins, was abandoned for 200 years.
Then, in May 1955, something remarkable happened.
Workers moving the statue accidentally chipped it.
Beneath the plaster?
An 18-karat gold Buddha weighing 1,200 lbs.
The monks had disguised it to protect it from destruction.
It worked but at a cost: the golden Buddha was forgotten.
The Golden You: Learning How to Love Yourself Unconditionally
In many ways, this is your story too.
You were born golden—pure, radiant, whole.
But life brought threats—emotional, physical, psychological.
So, like those monks, you built a protective facade.
That facade?
Limiting beliefs.
Assumptions.
Labels.
Fear-driven habits.
It kept you safe… once.
But now? It’s sabotaging your joy, your potential, your wholeness.
If you're wondering how to love yourself unconditionally—this is where it begins:
by recognizing you were never broken.
You were just hidden beneath layers that once served you, but no longer do.
The Emotional Armor Blocking Unconditional Self-Love
Fear wears many disguises:
Perfectionism
Overachievement
Comparison
People-pleasing
Self-criticism
All rooted in fear of:
Rejection
Failure
Poverty
Looking bad
Not mattering
Losing control
Each of these is a subconscious way of asking:
“How do I prove I’m worthy of love?”
But proving love is the opposite of how to love yourself unconditionally.
That’s the trap: conditional love is not love at all.
If Love Has Conditions, It Isn’t Love
“If I do the right thing…”
“If I follow the rules…”
“If I outperform everyone…”
“If I’m perfect…”
These are whispers from a wounded inner voice.
They keep you in a loop of trying, chasing, and over-performing.
But here’s the shift:
You are not here to earn love.
You’re here to remember that love is already yours.
How to Love Yourself Unconditionally , Start by Telling the Truth
If any part of this message felt uncomfortable…
Pause. Reflect.
And if it didn’t?
Pause. Reflect.
Because the path to self-love isn’t easy.
But if you want to learn how to love yourself unconditionally, you must start with honesty.
Ask:
Where am I still performing for love?
Where am I hiding my truth to be accepted?
What would it look like to show up without the mask?
Final Reminder , You Are the Golden One
There’s no right or wrong, only responsibility.
This is your life. Own it.
Beneath all that plaster,
beneath the stories,
beneath the fear...
You are the golden one.
You’ve always been worthy.
Now’s the time to believe it.
Your friend and coach,
Carlos
www.thereforgedleader.com
